Dismissive Avoidants During the Dating Stage
Dismissive avoidants are individuals who exhibit a pattern of behavior characterized by emotional detachment and a tendency to shy away from intimacy and emotional closeness. This type of attachment style can present challenges in the dating stage, as dismissive avoidants can harbor subconscious beliefs which impede developing a healthy romantic relationships. Dismissive avoidants during the dating stage tend to be slower to warm up than all other attachment styles even when they are highly interested. However we all need attachment and most dismissive avoidants do form lasting partnerships over time.
Dismissive Avoidant During the Dating Stage
Dismissive avoidants tend to prioritize their independence and self-sufficiency, sometimes at the expense of emotional connection with others. They may be uncomfortable with intense displays of emotion or vulnerability, and may struggle to express their own feelings in a relationship at the pace of other styles. As a result, they may come across as aloof or uninterested in their romantic partners, even when they do feel attraction or connection. They tend to take the “emotional passengers seat” in relationships.
In the dating stage, dismissive avoidants may struggle to engage in behaviors that are necessary for building a healthy relationship such as opening up, being vulnerable or consistently initiating. For example, they may be reluctant to make plans with their partners in advance, preferring to keep their options open and maintain a sense of flexibility. This can be frustrating for partners who are looking for a sense of commitment and stability in their relationships.
Dismissive avoidants may also struggle to know how to provide emotional support to their partner. They may be uncomfortable with displays of intense emotion, and may struggle to provide reassurance or comfort to their partners when they are upset. This is primarily due to their “stiff upper lip” when dealing with their own issues. This can be particularly challenging for partners who are chiefly looking bond through emotional intimacy.
Despite these challenges, it is important to note that dismissive avoidants are capable of forming healthy relationships. With time and effort, they can learn to identify and address their attachment patterns, and work to build deeper emotional connections with their partners. However, it is important for partners to be patient and understanding, and to recognize that building a healthy relationship with a dismissive avoidant may require more direct communication than with other attachment styles.
If you are dating a dismissive avoidant, it is important to approach the relationship with empathy and compassion. The top relationship needs that the dismissive avoidant looks for are certainty, acceptance and understanding, stability, harmony and fun, and above all safety.
Try to understand where they are coming from, and recognize that their emotional detachment is not a reflection of their feelings for you. Encourage them to open up and express their feelings, but also respect their boundaries and need for independence. With time and patience, you may be able to build a deep and meaningful connection with your dismissive avoidant partner.