Attachment theory is a framework that helps us understand how our early childhood experiences with caregivers shape our relationships throughout our lives. According to this theory, individuals with an anxious attachment style tend to have a negative view of themselves and a positive view of their partners. They crave intimacy but fear rejection, abandonment, or being alone. In the dating stage of a relationship, these individuals tend to display certain behaviors and tendencies that reflect their anxious attachment style.
While it’s important to become “fluent” in speaking your partner’s language, it’s equally important to be aware of the types of actions that actively take away from our partner feeling loved and valued. There are certain words or actions that actually speak unlovingly for each of the five love languages.
Relationship researchers have found that it takes between 5-13 positive interactions to make up for one negative interaction. Interestingly, if there’s zero negative interactions and never any disagreement this also predicts a poor relational outcome.
It’s useful to know your partners top two love languages. In order to make someone feel loved we need to practice all five languages but it’s much more impactful to focus on your partner’s top two love languages. It’s extremely helpful to avoid taking away from their top two love languages inadvertently as well. What are the triggering actions for each love language that are likely to cause strife? Read on to find out.
Relationships are the most rewarding and, at times, the most challenging part of life. To have a successful and long lasting relationship, not only do you have to put work into understanding your chosen partner but you have to know yourself. Knowing your personal boundaries and the boundaries of your relationship is of the utmost …
The trick to being able to predict your emotional response lies in your ability to connect the dots. When you feel upset, ask yourself ‘why?’ Notice which thoughts keep coming up for you in different situations throughout your life; ask yourself, what belief or fear is underlying the negative emotions? Only you can do this work for yourself, everyone has different triggers and different reasons for being emotionally triggered.